An awesome little poem

Over these past couple of weeks, I've continued to be in a rather introspective mood, and there will be more posts detailing some of those thoughts and revelations, but for now, I'm going to give a quote that pretty much touches on some of what God's been teaching me:

As children bring their broken toys,
With tears for us to mend.
I brought my broken dreams to God
Because He was my friend.

But then instead of leaving Him
In peace to work alone,
i hung around and tried to help
With ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,
"How can you be so slow?"
"My child," He said, "What could I do?
You never did let go."

Author Unknown

Opportunities

This morning, I finished the book of Ephesians in my quiet time. Paul ends this letter talking about Tychicus and how he will fill in the Ephesian believers on how and what Paul was doing as well as to encourage them and Paul continues to then briefly state his love again for those believers. Now, the way Paul concluded this letter got me thinking. Paul poured into who knows how many people and God provided countless opportunities for him to make disciples and he was faithful to take those opportunities and pour everything he had into those God brought to him. It made me think about the people God has blessed me with getting to see begin and grow in their walks with God. I've been able to see God take hold of lives, I've seen their worlds be rocked by how His word teaches, rebukes, corrects, and trains us... There are girls 8 years ago who I was able to see as little awkward 7th graders who are now discipling others. Today He still blows my mind about the girls He has brought even recently who I get to see hunger for growth and maturity in. The question I have to ask myself is am I as passionate about pouring into people as Paul was. Do I care about them even in the most trying times of my personal life? He was caring about them even while he was in prison, but I'll be honest and say when I'm going through struggles I'm not necessarily still putting them above myself. I don't know, I guess it just me thinking about how Paul talks about "making the most of every opportunity" and do I really do that? It can almost become more of a job then being passionate about making disciples... it's sad but on the mission field more than anywhere it can become very true. I'm just glad that God helped me to remember what it's about and what true discipleship should look like.

Jinja SS

So in Jinja, there's this secondary school (high school) that is considered to be one of (if not the) largest schools in East Africa. For a lot of last year I had been trying to get into that school to teach a Bible study, but to no avail. Then God just opened some awesome doors, and for almost this whole school year I've been able to meet with a group of students out in one of their grassy areas after school and just dive into our Bibles together. The group started out pretty small, maybe five kids or so... but this term, that number has grown. The average was beginning to be around 17 students meeting together as we studied through the book of Ecclesiastes. It was such an awesome opportunity because they even asked to meet more than once a week, so for this past term we've been meeting every Tuesday and Friday and a bulk of the kids come both times pretty consistently. I loved the mix of students...it was really actually pretty funny because out of the group of students about 3/4 of them were in S1 (kind of like freshmen) and then I had normally three guys from S6 (seniors) and not really anyone from any of the other grades. It's been awesome getting to pour into these guys...oh yeah, did I mention that they were all guys... as a big sister and warning them about the snares of life and the meaningless things we can get distracted by that amount to nothing when we don't have God in our lives. I was so blessed each and every time I was able to meet with them and I just look forward to next year (their school year is now over and they begin their new one in February) and what new opportunities God will bring with these guys!

Friendships

Over the past week, I've learned a thing or two about friendships... or I guess a better way to phrase that is that I've been more or less reminded of some things about friendships. Growing up, making friends just kind of happens. You share some of your Elmer's glue with someone on the first day of first grade and before you know it, you're still in contact with that person 18 years later. In the adult world, it's not that easy, or at least that's how it kind of seems. Now, I'm not talking about acquaintances but real friends...the good/the bad/ the ugly, the ones who will call you on things no one else will, the ones you can laugh and then cry with, the ones you can be really real with. I'm finding as life goes on and people get married, have kids, get jobs, etc... the dynamic changes, instead of the simple commonality of both needing some sort of adhesive for an art project, you gravitate towards the people who have the same passions, goals, and are in similar seasons of life with. And another thing about friendships... you don't really think about them a lot of times until you've lost one or faced a couple of bumps with one. It's been a tough week in the friendship arena for me, a time of reflection, a time of readjusting, and just a time of re-evaluating not only my friendships as they are currently, but also the type of friend I need/want to be. This has been a very selfish season in my life, and I just thank those friends who I was able to break down to, seek prayer from, laugh with, and just pour out my heart to as I've been processing all that's transpired over these past couple of months. I think overall, the biggest lesson I've learned is that it's very true what Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, "Two are better than one...if one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" And I'm just so thankful for all those who have "helped me up" during this time.

The Hidden Battle

Within the church, there's a hidden battle that few people really address or talk about but is still there in full force. I like to basically call it the Battle of the Truth, the funny thing is that you wouldn't think it would be something that was happening in the church but more with opposing world views and different religions. But if you were take a handful of Christians and poll them on certain issues and what their relationship with God was centered upon, I think you would be rather surprise at what you would find. Flipping through the channels of "Christian" TV these days you can find some awesome solid teachers, but sadly more often then not, those type of teachers are few and far between and what fills up the majority of the airwaves is what dictates most people's perception of Christianity; sadly enough it many times couldn't be further from the truth as to what Christianity really is supposed to be. These people emphasize that God's sole purpose is for you to be healthy and wealthy and it's honestly nauseating what they take out of context with Scripture. They talk of sewing "seeds" and fire ceremonies and miracle services, and it's just so sad because so many times I just want to ask them point blank, "Show me where in the Bible it teaches to do this thing". Did Peter ever hit someone on the head to heal them? Did Paul ever ask for a $100 faith seed that would guarantee the people a year's worth of prosperity? Did Jesus die on the cross so you could have a financial breakthrough? I guess the thing that gets me the most is that it's making it all about us, when it really should all be about HIM. It's not about what He's going to do for us, our relationship with Him shouldn't be dependent on emotion, our walk with God should be about HIS holiness, HIS goodness, HIS faithfulness, HIS justice, and as Ecclesiastes 5:7 says, standing in awe of God.

Now, you may be wondering what triggered this little soap box, well... Today I had the awesome opportunity to teach at the YMCA which is a vocational school here and during their morning devotion there are about 200 students in the room. I've taught there a couple of times before and every time it's just really cool to get to be a part of God working in that school. Well, today, I taught my passage that they give me ahead of time (which is a bit of challenge sometimes) and after I sat down, they said they had other visitors. So this lady gets up, and introduces herself and says that she's from the ministry of a very popular pastor in Uganda who was going to have a crusade in Jinja this week. As she kept talking, I seriously felt like I was in the middle of one of those teachings you see on TV, and she in turn was praising this man and the miracles he had done instead of praising God. After she finished, another guy got up and started yelling and saying a bunch of stuff and he concluded with having everyone raising their hands and him praying blessings for them especially that of financial breakthrough. It was so hard to be there because to much of what they said, I really just had to be careful not to show the reaction on my face. I sat there quietly and just tried to subtly make it clear that I was not in agreement with what he was saying. It's definitely a situation I had never been in before, but it was eye opening as to just how many people are living a life of self-serving Christianity and these "Pastors" are not looking to lead people in a deeper walk with Christ but to basically line their pockets and boost their egos. In 2 Timothy 4:3 says, "For a time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires they will gather around what their itching ears want to hear." That's definitely what I see more and more of as time goes on. But praise God for how HIS Word is sufficient and that it's not about us, that God's not someone we can command to do something, and that He's more than our finite little minds could ever begin to comprehend.

Hurricane Season

Currently, it’s hurricane season in the States and funny enough I don’t think I can find any better example to what life’s been like than a hurricane. I have now written several posts consisting of the events of the past few months, the trials, struggles, etc… and how it’s just been a real time of breaking. It's seriously been like I've been tossing about in the waves for the past four months and as soon as I get a breath, another wave comes and engulfs me. To add to the list now, my grandma on my mom’s side passed away this morning. I wish I could say that I was ready for it, because she really has been sick for so long, but the pain is still there. It’s times like these when being 8,000 miles away is really a bummer. I wish so badly I could be there for my mom and the rest of my family through this time.




My Grandma Joyce, was one of the most independent women I knew. She could play the organ and piano better than anyone I’ve EVER met. As I grew up and was in high school, our once somewhat distant relationship got a whole lot closer. I remember I would just go to her house to randomly spend the night. I would have my own little routine of getting the pull out bed ready and just hanging out with her. We would play games like Skip-bo and make chocolate chip cake and eat macaroni and cheese. She’s the one who helped teach me how to drive and what the streets were. She even moved into my parent’s house after I moved out. Getting to make her laugh was seriously one of my most favorite things to do. She and I would get into awesome conversations/debates about the Bible and as she approached the end of her life, she I believe truly accepted Christ as her Savior. She has touched more people than she ever realized and will be greatly missed and I will always cherish the memories and the special relationship we were able to have.

Now, it's through these times of heartache and pain that I've got to cling to how he's with me through the calm and the storm and that he truly will never let me go. I've got to rejoice in the suffering and various trials knowing they produce endurance, but sometimes that's oh so hard to do! Praise God that just as Jesus was asleep on the boat during the storm and was able to calm the seas with a Word, He's more powerful than these waves that come crashing over and over again too.

The Virrage...I mean Village

So every now and then I get to actually use my degree and one of those times was this past Thursday. We have a village church that was able to have a medical clinic. It used to be a fairly legit little clinic but there had been some problems with it lately, so bright and early Thursday morning (4:30am) Jess and I had coffee in hand ready to head out - although we didn't really leave until 5, it was still early! We (I mean Jess) drove for a couple hours only to incur a flat tire, but Jess was like a pit stop man and that tire was changed faster than I've ever seen it done before! Then we drove for a couple more hours and finally reached the village that was about an hour past Soroti. We first had to meet in the land's office where we had to start getting some things worked out. That in and of itself was an experience. Then we headed to the clinic to do a fun little audit. It was not nearly as long or painful as originally anticipated, but I got to spend some time doing inventory on the drugs and trying to figure out if they're really being honest about what they're doing with the meds. We then had a nice lunch at our village pastor's house and finally headed back to Jinja a little after 3. The drive back was quiet and just kind of a nice time to process things and lucky Jess was there to help me do that. Needless to say it was a total of 10 hours in the car and about 3 hours of "work", and when we finally got home after 8, we were exhausted, but it was still a nice time to just kind of get out of the "usual" and have a little adventure.