One week

It's been one week since I said goodbye to a precious 3 year old as she moved away
It's been one week since I received the phone call that I lost an amazing 9 year old little friend
It's been one week since I sat on the floor of a hospital room with my "family" silently crying
It's been one week since I spent the night holding a mother grieving over the loss of her child
It's been one week since I told my kids that they lost their best friend
It's been one week since I saw my church display the body of Christ in the most powerful of ways
It's been one week since I began to feel a pain I didn't know was possible
It's been one week since I started to know God's comfort in ways I had never experienced before

Time... people say how it heals all wounds. I have to say that after one week, the scab is beginning to form, but pain is still there. I know that there will always be a scar from this past week, especially on February 28th. But it's in times like this that you can realize the truth of "Sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning".

It's been interesting dealing with everyone's different forms of grief over the past week, including my own. I've never had to deal with a loss like the one of Nazziwa. People talk of their different coping mechanisms but really I've never had to have one until now (at least not in this capacity). Some people like to clean, work, cry, be alone, be with people, I guess my biggest thing is just how I'm learning that I need to talk about it. Not necessarily get any sort of advice, but just to kind of walk through it all, the last moments, the good times, the dealing with everything immediately after... I talk about it now without really crying because honestly the reality still hasn't fully hit me I don't think. I still keep thinking I'm going to see her come and play with her friends, I'll hear her little laugh on my porch, I'll sit with her and talk about life.

The good thing is that God has truly answered so many people's prayers. The comfort is definitely coming and God has brought some very powerful lessons my way over this past week. God is definitely still a good God, and more than that He's our Sovereign Lord who continues to have everything in His hands. I'm now able to more than ever attest to that fact. I'm not just merely sending out empty words that I've in no way experienced but I've been able to know the truth of them in the deepest of ways. I thank God and rejoice not in the things that brought the pain, but what is coming from it. I'll end this with a line from a song that was part of our worship on Sunday, "In the chaos, in confusion, I know you're sovereign still..." It's not for me to understand the "why", but to simply just trust Him.