Running on empty

Have you ever been emptied of yourself? Like seriously you have nothing else to give? No energy, wisdom, strength of your own anymore... Well that's where I was at over the past couple of days and continue to be even today. In the midst of one of the biggest ministry seasons of my "career" I got a gnarly cold. Although, to me it doesn't seem fair to call it a cold because the word "cold" makes it sound not so bad... this thing is a doozy. And because of the yelling at the various children's outreaches earlier in the week and then the dust going to the villages and then this cold... well I lost my voice. Not necessarily the most convenient thing when you're organizing and teaching several events. But even in this God has still proven to be in control.

I'm a very proud person... shocker I know. I try and do things to the best of my ability and I'm a perfectionist to the core when I'm putting on events. I hate asking people to help me do the things that need to get done and try to do it all on my own. I do the behind the scenes and the on stage stuff. MCing and registering, teaching and making menus... and honestly being able to do that totally feeds into my pride yet I still get upset when people don't help. This past week has brought me to the point where basically I had no choice. I had to ask for...gulp.... help. And the cool thing is, God confirmed that's what he wanted because he surrounded me with amazing people who faithfully and selflessly served doing whatever needed to get done to make these events a success. From making sandwiches and filling water balloons to being my vocal chords. I've been humbled to the max to say the least and I'm so thankful for the people God used to teach me the lessons he has been.

Of course now as I'm sucking on throat lozenges and slamming back tea with honey and bottles of water, I'm really hoping that God will give me my voice back as this next week is a doozy...five village outreaches in five days. I was on empty before and have only been able to function by his grace and that will continue throughout this next week. It will be interesting to see how it all goes down.