A little history

So... today I was having coffee with a friend of mine, and I was kind of giving her a bit of my testimony and she thanked me for sharing it with her. I was thinking about how there's a big part of my testimony that I kind of keep under wraps or don't go into too much detail about, but think that it may be about time to at least shed a little light on some of how God has gotten a hold of me. Mainly in the physical aspect.

For people who have seen me for any period of time will most likely notice I either walk on my toe or walk with somewhat of a limp and it's that limp (and the circumstances surrounding it), that has been probably THE number one thing that God has used in my life to bring me to who I am today. You see, when I was born it ended up that my entire left side was shorter than my right side or in some way smaller - left eye, left hand, arm, leg, foot... I know saying this, y'all will probably take too much notice of those differences but hey, I need to learn how to embrace what God's done in me. Well, when I was one and trying to walk, I just couldn't (haha, I guess not a lot has changed now that I think about it :)) and so my parents brought me to the doctor and my left leg was significantly shorter than my right. So they got my little baby shoes and put a lift on the left one and I was able to be a "normal" kid. But little by little the difference got more and more significant and before long my "case" was referred to the Shriner's Hospital in Los Angeles. I have awesome memories of partaking in Southwest Airlines, being picked up by the little guys in white suits and getting in the van and either going to the hotel or hospital with either my mama or daddy depending on who was able to go that time. Those visits continued and when I was in 6th grade, the plan was made for me to have a rather intense operation that involved two parts: 1) my left femur was to be broken and an external fixator was to be attached with six pens into that femur and I was to lengthen it with a little wrench a millimeter a day for a period of about four months 2) In order to help me walk somewhat normally they also were going to snap my Achilles tendon. So, in January of I guess it was 1997, my parents took me to Disney Land and then I was under the knife. When I woke up the pain wasn't from my femur but actually from the Achilles tendon...oh my gosh did that hurt!!!! I was in the hospital for about 2 weeks and dying to come back to ABQ. After 6 weeks, the cast came off of my foot, but the fixator remained for a total of 8 months. And when it was all said and done, I was on crutches for a year... not fun! I was 11 when this all went down and this was just the beginning, but all the other surgeries were cake compared to this one. Afterwards, my doctor kindly informed me that it was the most painful experience anyone could pretty much go through and I really hope so because seriously... ummm... that pain can't be put into words.

Now, there's kind of the general gist of things. I'm not telling these details for pity, but simply to state it as part of the shaping things of my life. You see program after program on TV about plastic surgery, models, and pastors smacking people on the head to heal them. I know I'm not perfect in any way shape or form, and honestly if you want me to get really hurt, you poke fun at how I walk. But what I've come to learn is just how much God has used this one big thing, thirteen years ago to change me and break me literally. When I read the story of Jacob (Israel) when he wrestled with God and God touched the socket of his hip and so Jacob walked with a limp, I relate to it in so many ways. God knit me in my mama's womb, He knew my personality, and what it would take to get through to me. I laugh thinking that He had to do that and more to get me to come to my knees and He continues to still work on me and uses physical things to really hammer in some big lessons. I just don't even want to think of the pride, selfishness, and all the other gnarly things I still have if this hadn't been part of His plan for me. He is so good and works in some unusual and painful ways, but it's all a part of His perfect plan. If only I would remember that from time to time.