2010... the year I grew up

When I talk to most people, they think that I'm at least a couple of years older than I really am. Well, I may look and even sometimes act the part, but honestly I still feel like I'm back in high school most of the time trying to find out who I am. Well, 2010 was quite possibly the most intense year of growing up that I can remember both in the relational and spiritual sense.

It began with me back in the States, assuming what life for the next year would look like. I spent the beginning two months enjoying time with my family, getting vision for future ministry, and understanding more about my place in the body of Christ. As I got back to Uganda, things began to set in motion for an intense season of change. I enjoyed a couple of really cool somewhat stable months, where I kind of feel like God was maybe preparing me for what was to come the second half of the year. Right before my birthday in June, we had a couple of huge events here at the church and with that, the chaos that would be my life for the remainder of the year began to ensue. Right after my birthday, I knew that I was getting very close to what would be known as the most difficult season of my life and so I escaped to a place called Sipi Falls to kind of get my eyes focused on God before everything started to really happen. After I got back, it seriously was almost an instantaneous "Wham!". Friends left, a foot got broken, more friends left, I was flying solo running the show here, new friends came as still more left. I took a couple of trips that instead of being times of relaxation and escape segwayed into even more intense times of breaking and maturing. I've had to deal with people around me going through incredibly difficult situations, things that I'd previously been shielded from in my short 24 years. I lost two grandmas and nearly lost one of my closest friends. And to kind of put a nice layer of icing on the "breaking" cake, I ended the year with yet another cast.

I'm not saying these things to complain or to try and get sympathy, but actually to testify about God's grace. You read about Paul, and all he endured for the sake of the Gospel and just for God to make him into the minister that he was and it wasn't easy, but it was all to God's glory as the end result was a man that is one of the most influential personalities in Christianity. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm no Paul. But through these times of breaking, I've definitely learned what Paul meant by how we can see God's strength the most in our times of unimaginable weakness. God has grown me up both in the ways of life as well as in the ways of Him through all these things. Yes, I had my fair share of pity parties, No, I don't have it all figured out yet and have definitely not achieved perfection. I don't know what 2011 will bring. I can tell you right now though that I'm anticipating another year of intense changes and continued breaking, but little by little God teaches me and reminds me that He is with me through all the heartaches, chaos, and pain that is still yet to come.

As I stand at the doorstep of this new year, I think the best way to communicate what I hope for and ask from all of you is a quote by St. Augustine, "Once you have learnt what I am, pray that I fall not away, but be perfected" and that I would NEVER take my eyes off of Him no matter what comes my way in 2011.