Another tough chapter

As I'm writing this, I'm sitting in my little apartment with my little tree and white lights listening to Christmas music after spending the evening watching a Christmas movie. Needless to say it's been a good night, but there is one looming element that I've failed to mention, I'm typing this one handed because my other hand is in a cast (so if there are some gnarly typos, just blame it on the cast). Now, you may be asking "Kelli, did't you like JUST get your other cast off?" And you would be right...it hasn't even been four months since I've been out of my cast that was on my foot. Six months ago I had a little retreat right after my birthday and I knew the upcoming year was going to be intense...I just had no idea how intense. Now after two casts, my grandma passing away, friends leaving, and a few other things, I can honestly say it's been the hardest six months of my life. I had mentioned that I went to Kenya a couple of weeks ago and while I was on that trip I seriously told people that I felt like another tough season was coming right as I felt I was finishing with this last one, and I must admit that has been confirmed in one huge way.

Now, you may be asking how I ended up with this newest cast...The other day, I was walking and trying to text (not a wise idea here in Uganda) and I didn't see a drainage ditch and fell pretty hard scraping up my hands and my knees, and as it turns out doing some damage on one of the tendons on my left thumb. Now, I get to be in a cast for at least the next two weeks.

I wish I could tell you that I'm "rejoicing always", "counting it all joy", etc... but honestly, I've very much struggled with having a good attitude through this latest trial. Believe me, I know God is using this to make me into the servant he desires me to be, but I've already caught myself saying "God. Seriously?!" And things continue to be coming up that are just adding to the difficulty of trying to not allow myself to wallow in self pity. I feel bad because my friends, family, and all of you who read this blog have heard me whine about this killer season of breaking and honestly, a lot of me doesn't even want to talk about it anymore because I figure people have enough on their plates than to hear me gripe about yet another hurdle, I guess though that's why I'm just putting it out here to just humbly ask for your prayers that I would glorify God even in the trials, especially with my attitude. Nights are the worst because the loneliness, helplessness, and hopelessness seems to get magnified exponentially.

So needless to say I need a lot of prayer right now: my focus, perseverance, attitude, for Him to increase my faith, to learn what I need to, and that during this Christmas season I would be reminded that life is not about me, but it's about Him.