Temper Tantrums

Being on a compound that's never lacking with small children these days, I've grown accustomed to having to lay down the law on the whole temper tantrum front. One little boy in particular is a pro at throwing them, I mean he wells up and screams and you think he's dying but then you see someone gives him what he's wanting and he stops immediately. One day I was informing him of the error of his ways of how "you can't cry or get upset every time you don't get your way" and it was really almost mid sentence that I had the shocking realization that I struggle with my own temper tantrums. I mean, if I don't get my way... watch out! If you don't give me what I want, say what I want, or do things the way I want them done, well it's over. I feel bad for the people closest to me because they have really seen my fits in full force. I typically am really good (maybe sometimes not so good) at hiding it when I'm around others but then around a few "lucky" people, I throw off all restraints. I may not start screaming and crying, but believe me, you know when I'm upset. It's funny how I talk about my anger around some and they're so surprised, I guess I hide it well, but those closest to me tell a different story. I've recently heard that someone said "well, she'll be mad at me about something anyways, so who cares" (or something like that). Talk about a bit of a blow, it's yet another thing to add to the long list of things God has been showing me this week. I hate that I'm known for always getting upset, angry, etc... and really it all centers around ME... if I'm not happy, if I feel mistreated, if I get offended... Blech! I've gotta get my eyes off of myself, and look to God first and then others, and then seriously remember that "I'm crucified", I'm no more, or at least my flesh is no more.

Whenever I'm talking to the little boy I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I tell him, "Do you see the big boys behaving like this" and "Ok, now stop crying like that and be a big kid". I guess I should take my own advice. I look around at those who are grown up in their faith, and they don't throw a hissy fit when they don't get their way. They're actually really good at rolling with it, and letting stuff just go. Oh if I could only learn this lesson.