My First Real Breakdown

So I'm using this blog to be totally and completely honest and transparent about all that I'm going through in hopes that it will allow you to get a full grasp on what this process is like for me. Well...tonight I honestly have to say I broke down. I just felt so overwhelmed with getting my apartment ready to move out, my car breaking down, trying to figure out what I'm going to do with school and getting ready to move to move to Africa. All of these things have kind of mounted up and I've never really had an anxiety attack, but this is probably the closest I've ever been to having one. I deffinitely am feeling attacked and feel as if Satan is targeting my joyfulness I've been feeling about this whole thing, I know God has me in the palm of His hand, but it's just really really difficult right now to keep a joyful attitude when I feel so overwhelmed.

The first of the lasts

So tonight was my last Christmas celebration with my mom's side of the family. It was crazy because I had no idea how I was going to have such a hard time realizing that I'll probably not see a lot of them for at least two and a half years. At one point I had to go to another room because I was crying, I honestly didn't think I'd get that emotional about it. I only see most of them once a year at Christmas, but it was crazy just thinking about the idea that I won't see them on Christmas Eve Eve like I do every year. I'm so blessed to have such a big and loving family, and I honestly felt so supported and loved tonight.

I think I need a bomb shelter

These past couple of weeks I honestly feel like I'm getting attacked from every side, and I just kind of want to curl up, close my eyes, and wait for it to be over, but I know that's not what I'm supposed to do. I know God doesn't give me more than I can handle and that through these times of being attacked, I'm called to cling to Him and grow in my faith, and to realize that He's preparing me for this next step in my life, but it's still tough. I'm facing issues with school, friendships, and my grandma being in the hospital. This is a humble prayer request asking for prayers for strength and for me to remember He's got me in the palm of His hands through these tough times.

Blessed are the flexible...right?

Ok, so I just found out that the training I have to go to in July was pushed back to be about two weeks later, which then means that I have to leave for Uganda about a week later than originally planned. I know it is just a week, but I want to be out there so badly that it honestly makes me so sad that I have to wait even longer than I thought. I know I just have to keep trusting in God and His timing, but it's times like this when I feel like asking God "are you sure..?" Anyways, just be praying for me that I will be able to not get discouraged about this little change and that I would continue trusting in Him and Hist timing.

It's everywhere I tell ya...

So lately everywhere I look there's something about Africa from commercials, to TV episodes, to movies, to even Christmas songs, and today another thing was added to the list...it was a light display at an event called The River of Lights. It was amazing! It's like all the time God is reminding me where He's guiding me and reaffirming that Africa is where He wants me to go.

Online Donations

You are now able support me through the Global Adventures website (www.globaladventures.org) and under "support a missionary" find my name and put in the amount you would like to give. It's fast, easy, and secure.