Fear

"Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men" - Luke 5:10

God seems to be opening my eyes to how often he calls us in scripture to not be afraid. Most of the times that happens in the midst of or on the onset of some huge new groundbreaking chapter or event in someones lives... It was told to the patriarchs, to Joshua, to the prophets, to Mary, and the above verse was given to the Peter and co. when Jesus called them into ministry. Over the past month or so, God has continued to weave together a vision to seriously and effectively reach the youth around Uganda and to truly make the most out of EVERY opportunity He sends my way with the youth in my life right now. With this new drive and burden though comes a great sense of fear. I'm afraid of failing, I'm afraid of the opposition, I'm afraid of it being a "success". I know that sounds funny, but hey I'm just telling it like it is.

About a week ago I went on a little ka retreat to the mountains in eastern Uganda to kind of process a lot of what God's been showing me, and to lift specific people and issues up in prayer. This burden for the youth is what consumed most of those prayers and what God showed me through his Word. God's Word truly is living and active as He brought to light so many things and addressed so many of the excuses I had been trying to give as well as hurdles I felt I had to get over. When finally it just came down to faith... trusting Him, His plans, His voice, and taking that step where you honestly don't know what it could lead to but you know that God has called you to do it. It honestly scares the bejeebers out of me to even begin thinking about taking that step, but little by little I'm trying to wrap my mind around what He's calling me to do and what it's going to look like. I just ask for prayer that I would walk so closely with him that I would hear His voice directing me in what to do, and that there wouldn't be any other "noise" distracting me from hearing what He's trying to tell me. But it's not just about hearing, please pray that I also LISTEN to His voice when He calls me to do the things that my rational/planning/unflexible self bucks at and realize that it's His show and His plan and I just need to hang on and enjoy the ride.