Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Being broken...literally


In life, you just never know what little twists and turns may arise. As the previous post indicated, it had appeared that I had fractured my metatarsal (top of my foot), and today after some more x-rays and a LOT of waiting, it was confirmed. I was put into a cast and told to keep weight off of it for about a month. At first I didn't mind, but now as the pain and the realization of my new immobility is setting in, it's becoming rather easy to throw a couple of pity parties for myself. Poor Bev had me bread down on her just because of how angry and upset I was at how yet again I have had another physical struggle. I'll admit, it gets old having physical issues and people feeling sorry for you. I get into trouble because of how independent I like to be especially in times like these, but what people don't realize is that I've lived my whole life with needing some sort of "special care" - people getting water for me, stacking pillows, walking slowly, getting me ice, and honestly it gets old feeling like you're a "burden" to people. I realize that those who do those things for me don't see it as a burden, but it's still really hard. I guess you could also just bring it down to pride and just how I get brought to these points where I can't do EVERYTHING no matter how hard I try. Tonight I couldn't help clean the table after dinner, that was a tough one just because I feel so lazy when I can't do anything. Again, I know all the promises of how God is faithful and is using this for my good, and that I can view time like what happened to Job, but boy is it a struggle. I'll be honest and say that I've really asked God, "Are you serious!? This...NOW!?" But again I realize that in my weakness He is made strong. So I just have to grin and bear it, rejoice in all things, enjoy the extra doting, and make this very ugly boring cast into something a little more attractive.

1 comment:

His Purpose said...

Will you let me be your servant, let me be as Christ to you? Pray that I may have the grace to let you be my servant too. Servant Song

I too hate being a burden on others. Unexpectedly becoming a single mom has made me have to swallow my pride at times. I now understand that when I don't allow others to care for me when I need it, I'm actually denying them grace. Hang in there, you know God loves you! My motto find the lesson, learn it fast so I can move on and not stay in this place too long :)

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