Sweetly broken

You know the times when you maybe think, "hey, life has been going pretty well for a while now, I wonder if I'm due for a little difficulty?" Well, that was today. These past couple of weeks have been pretty awesome - ministry wise and personally for me. But then last night God began the breaking process as He begins to chisel yet another chunk of that old me away. I won't lie, it's hurting pretty badly right now. Today in my quiet time I was in the book of Romans and then I was in the book of Numbers and both passages were about being zealous for God. There are two key struggles that I've noticed missionaries seem to face: loosing a passion and/or focus for their work and pride. Those two things are absolutely toxic for ministry as well as ones personal pursuit of holiness, and God has convicted me to my core that both of those things have been slowly creeping into my life lately.

I just feel so gross right now, just thinking of how I teach and teach about how to live a life that is focused solely on Him, yet I'm like the dogs on the movie Up, and all of a sudden I go "squirrel!" I know that's kind of a funny illustration, but it's true. It's funny how you can go along fine and then it's like "WHAM!" and God hits you upside the head to get your attention and get you back on track. Even though it does hurt and I'm fairly miserable, I'm rejoicing in the fact that I have a Father who loves me enough to do what it takes to get my focus back on Him and pursuing the things He desires from me.